I spent this evening doing something I sadly, rarely ever do: tidying up the festooned mess that is my room. My goal is to have guests not say, “You have so MUCH STUFF.” So tonight I’ve been relocating a lot of crap (toys, knick knacks) to the living room. I even found an old artwork (that I forgot I bought at the antique paper fair) which I framed and hung.

Whilst trying to be productive, I revisited some old CDs. And that is why I’m currently stuck in the black hole known as music nostalgia. Looking at my Cure collection, I suddenly wanted to listen to an album that I only had on tape. One thing (YouTubing to hear my favorite tracks on said album) led to another, and before you know it, I’m going to list my top cherished memories of one of my alltime will-always-love favorite bands (in no particular order):

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Sometimes when you’re so damn sad you feel like you’ll never be able to feel right again, it’s helpful to remember that there are really weird and/or adorable animals in the world.

Things that have happened in the past few months (in no particular order):

* Callum came into the world. Nice work, Mich and Mel! He’s a beaut.

* Peggy left on a cross country road trip for her new home on the east coast. Sadness abounds. And there was another goodbye as well. Two big painful goodbyes in a short period of time definitely make for deep reflection and big changes.

* Jenelle returned home after nine years on the east coast. Rejoice! We’re all in the Bay Area together again. And the girl came back with a ring on her finger.

* Got crazy hungry for reading. Haven’t been this voracious for books since I was a kid. Been digesting lots of Edith Wharton, DH Lawrence, Richard Yates, Michael Cunningham, etc. Can’t get enough of bleak, tragic stories of dysfunctional families, forbidden love, life’s little injustices, lost opportunities, etc. My cup of tea. Next up is my first Updike, thanks to Peg’s recommendation and a lifelong curiosity, Mary Karr, more Yates, and more Drifting Classroom (thanks, library!)

* Been finally making good use of my Netflix subscription, and I don’t just mean with Instant Play either. My queue hasn’t seen this much action since I don’t know when. Speaking of movies, The Maid was really great. So was Step Brothers, surprisingly. Who knew?!

* Spent lots of time with an old friend as we try to take care of each other.

* Made a new fun friend who parachuted into my life out of nowhere. Social blindsiding, I call it, but with positive connotations.

* Haven’t engaged in any physical fitness activity WHATSOEVER. It’s quite worrisome and is responsible for my frown lines and furrowed brow, but I’ve sunken so deeply into my isolated, pleasurable, low energy pattern of reading and watching and cooking, that just the idea of marching back into the gym, walking to work, or getting on the bike fears me with dread. DREAD, I tell you. It’s awful.

* Gotten into the weekly habit of stocking up on lunch materials at the farmers market near work. Gone are the days of sporadic visits. Now I eat a boring ass salad (comprised of ingredients all bought from the farmers market) almost every. Single. Day (luckily, my work spouse’s homemade mustard adds some kick to the dressing).

* Worried about my job / career. It’s still a roller coaster relationship and I find increasing reasons to feel disgruntled and unvalued. Perhaps it’s a little symptomatic of a six year relationship.

So, in other words, my life is pretty much par for the course in its major ups and downs and mostly boring little happenings and routines.

Can you imagine how difficult it would be to name your favorite desserts? You’d get into a categorical confusion. Do candy bars count as dessert? Or should desserts be expanded simply to “sweets” to make room for all things that can fit under that umbrella term? The faves I can rattle off the top of my head right now: Tartine Bakery’s banana cream pie, egg creams, stone fruit or berry galettes, root beer floats, anything juxtaposing chocolate and peanut butter together, Goody Goodie’s namesake cookies, gas station / convenience store brownies (chewy, cheap, perfect), Polly Ann’s green tea ice cream, chocolate croissants, mint Its Its, cereal, cafe sua da, banana milkshakes, salted caramel, Olea’s gateau breton with amarena cherries, chi chi dango mochi, cannolis…

What are yours?

When my mom told me today was the five year anniversary of my grandfather’s death, I was more sad, shocked, and disappointed with myself that I had more or less forgotten, than stunned by the fact that it’s already been five years. I forget that while he was still alive, our lives were very much different.

I’m proud of my ladies. Creating a child is one of the gutsiest things you can do. We’ve got two babies en route to the world very, very soon (notice how I use “we” as if I’m doing any of the work?). Then I’ll be aunt to three!

When I was in LA recently using forced vacation time by staying with Anthony, I asked him to draw me. So he did while I was asleep. He nailed the open mouth breathing / drooling part.

Meet the sloths from Amphibian Avenger on Vimeo.

Something I’ve learned in very recent years, as I’ve witnessed big life changes amongst close lifelong friends: settling down doesn’t always mean you’re settling for less. It took me so long to realize this. I feel more relaxed, sad, and like an adult, now that I finally understand. Guess you could say I’m a late bloomer.

This photo’s been chillin’ on my desktop for awhile. It really illustrates my undying lust for chili. Taken during an overnighter on Mt. Tam a few years ago. That was a fun trip.