howdy! i’m in guilin, and boy am i ever in love…

i’ll admit, i had a shitty day yesterday. things weren’t working out from the get-go. at 530 pm, i ended up breaking down and sobbing on the street like some wimpy jelly-spined milktoast when i ran to the post office right after it closed, the guard denied me entrance, and it was my last chance to send a parcel to the states. i even almost lost my camera, and wondered if it wasn’t a sign that i should just wrap things up early and go home with my tail between my legs. my feelings for beijing were starting to subside, trumped by loneliness and frustration.

but the package got shipped at another post office (thank god for cabs), and now i’m in guilin. i feel much better, recharged and refreshed.

it’s the perfect solution to the overwhelming hugeness of beijing. don’t get me wrong, beijing is A M A Z I N G, but five, six days there by oneself starts to chip away at one’s core. guilin, it’s much smaller, but with all the same modern conveniences and more rustic rural charm. the pace is slowed down, more relaxed, and people feel less surly. and gosh, the scenic landscape is purdy. it’s also my first day of sunlight since arriving in china. i wonder if even any invincible, invisible UV rays ever managed to penetrate the down blanket of pollution and haze in beijing.

i mean, c’mon…

evidence #1 – elephant hill cave

(why yes, those are people dipping their toes into the cool water while munching on watermelon and homemade snacks in warm weather)

reed flute cave. poetic names for sightseeing destinations, no?

view of guilin from a pagoda at reed flute cafe; there was some pre-olympic event going on

and one of my favorite moments on the trip so far…

in the middle of this lovely shopping thoroughfare, there’s a circular outdoor auditorium. real casual but a nice benevolent thought, with a big screen on the mall’s facade. i sat down to relax and enjoy the happenin’ atmosphere and setting sun.

before i know it, i’m joined by many others, and we’re all watching a dubbed version of “ice age: the meltdown” at dusk.

i felt so much peace and content right there and then. like, how random is this? how did i end up here, thousands of miles away from home, in a charming town that has its own dialect, watching an american CG movie with people from whom i feel so different? the best was seeing/feeling fellow viewers’ reactions to the funny parts of the movie. it was pure magic.

i am developing quite the chinese paunch. sure, it’s been sproutin’ for a long time, but now that i’m on a steady diet of starches, sugars, and more starches (drenched in oil), and without the magical razor-blade-scapula-skinny genes that my counterparts here possess, i’m starting to resemble a peach-shaped child plump on baby fat. you know, the prosperity-signaling ones seen in chinese socialist realist artwork.

sigh.

my last day in beijing, i went to the natural history of museum. it was, um…quaint…and earnest. i’ll take anything with dinosaurs and an “aquarium” (more like grimy fish store that time forgot). the museum overall was a creepy and sad object of neglect, and this is before i got to the “human bodies discovery” building, which disturbed me to no end. having read about it beforehand, i thought i could stomach it, no problem, but nothing prepared me for what i saw. i STUPIDLY took photos but immediately felt dirty, immoral, and disrespectful and have since deleted them since my camera was harboring evil. these would’ve made the editors of rotten.com feel queasy.

i’ll not go into graphic detail, but this was more bonechilling gore-porn than anatomy/physiology education. let’s just say that you could CLEARY see the expressions on the chinese faces (men, women, children, babies), which were cross-sectioned in every which way. and these were not pleasant expressions, which then cause you to wonder where these cadavers came from. terrifying and haunting.

UGH
*shudder*

okay, before i frighten myself into not being able to sleep tonight, let’s move on to some more “light hearted” fare.
some quick beijing observations (more like “no shit, sherlock” statements):

* there are way more cute dogs than i anticipated (mostly small). seeing ebullient canines on their walks fill me with joy. lots of pekingese pups!

* chinese people are crazy resourceful and industrious when given two wheels. you can do many things with a bicycle.

* couples, young and old, are refreshingly affectionate.

* jackie chan looks bizarre in ads, often dated and 80s-ish.

* potato chips are pretty popular and come in many flavors (i.e. cool cucumber). salty snax, in general, are popular, especially nut things.

* cell phones and meat skewers (chuan)…they’re everywhere.

* so many adorable babies and toddlers. would you believe that i was often tempted to reach out and just squeeze one?

* many of my meals were purchased from street vendors and consumed while en route somewhere by foot.

* bicyclists, pedestrians, and drivers all co-exist in a strange controlled chaos. it’s a miracle bone-crunching accidents don’t happen on the hour.

* haggling between chinese and non-chinese tourists can turn into an all-out war. on multiple occasions, i’ve witnessed loud transactions escalate into the vendor passionately exclaiming what a great deal he/she’s offering and how he/she needs to make $$$, and the other party stomping away until the vendor desperately calls he/she back in english. in any bargain mall, you’ll hear chinese girls yelling in strident voices, “lady, lady, lady, you want silk bag?” or “MADAME! COME HERE!”

* the olympics loom very large. i believe the official motto is: “one world, one dream.” you should see the top-notch commercials, appearing like spliced creations of hallmark and bay/bruckheimer.

* food options are abundant and cheap.

* one cab driver said, “we don’t make much, so we don’t spend much.”

and now, some random photos…

waiting for the subway, which is essentially a cattle car during rush hour

is this not hilarious?

get out of my dreams and get in to my car…ice cream mooncakes!
i’m assuming that’s DQ, as in dairy queen. if this is the case, just imagine how DQ got to have a share of this market, and what their marketing teams went through in brainstorming this very product.

you don’t come to beijing and not have this

i was EXTREMELY LUCKY to enjoy this meal with empress yu (derek’s mom), courtesy of emperor yu’s cousin, who arranged a driver to take me all the way out to the great wall (simatai – a less-touristy, more challenging, further out section). ETERNAL THANKS to the yu clan for making me a happy clam.

a supermall on wangfujing

a classic chinese dichotomy: destruction, construction. it’s ubiquitous

a few days ago i excitedly took a cab to 798 art district in the dashanzi area of chaoyang – a hip and happening part of beijing.

i’d always wanted to go/come to the motherland, but 798 was a recent catalyst in my wanderlust. i read about it b/c of the sui jianguo and liu xiaodong exhibitions at work (both are impactful modern chinese artists), and since then, had been starry-eyed about this mythical and magical place (which boasts a fascinating industrial heritage and houses a former german factory). pardon my naivete, but i perceive 798 as the spawning ground for contemporary art in china. a trip to beijing would’ve been incomplete without checking out this huge commercial/cultural/artistic space.

a few galleries had special receptions, so i lucked out on soaking up extra positive vibes. i was totally awestruck seeing 798 in action. one thing i was particularly fond of: the gallivanting multigenerational families. this was definitely not your sf first thursdays hipster hangout (whew). at nightfall, artists and art lovers squatted outside the galleries smoking, chatting, and sipping wine, while construction workers did their thing on bamboo scaffolding. couples were holding hands and grandparents were chasing after rambunctious wee ones. a group of twenty-somethings, probably college students, gleefully met a particular artist (see mark ryden-esque painting below, not my cup of tea) – it was so sweet seeing them ooh and aww over the catalogue that said artist had signed for one of them.

on top of all that, it’s just a super-cool place to explore! it could easily take half a day, between the countless galleries, shops, and opportunities for tea breaks. sprawling networks of gas pipes, water lines, and so forth create a distinctive (somewhat cool, somewhat eerie) ambiance.

in conclusion, finally experiencing 798 in all its glory made me very happy.

so much has happened, but first things first, holy $hit!

everything your mind’s ever constructed around the concept of the great wall needs to be amplified by avogadro’s number, times infinity. it’s larger than life and supremely breathtaking. it’s also the most strenuous thing in the world, and i took the wimpy “short cut” way too.

i’ve transferred accommodations and am now at a “business hotel” in the haidian (west of the forbidden city) district of beijing. it’s way out there and not as central, but there are perks: the new lodging is SWEET – brand spankin’ new and tres fancy, far too classy for me. only $40 a night! still pricey, but a steal for the amount. thanks to paul for working his business guanxi so i could get a nice discount on the hotel.

room comes with potable water (pronounced “poh-tuh-bull,” i was informed), and an internet cafe right behind it, not to mention a huge walmart style shopping center / supermarket next door (called makro).

here’s the enjoyable dish i had right after i checked in. some sort of noodles that were shockingly good. across the street: an olympics fanfare event. the second photo illustrates something i love about beijing: oldschool “unsanitary” method of preparing food that would never fly where we live, and just across the way – conveniences of the modern world in the form of a sterile mall (that even played muzak).

highlights of the past coupla days:

* walked down a residential small street with lots of food vendors and tiny restaurants (strolling down these pseudo-alleys are probably one of my favorite things so far). i played with a pup, and finally ate my first jianbing (large egg crepe with spices and sauce, folded around this crunchy pastry)!

* checked out jin shan park and bei hai park. so relaxing! as much an aural experience as a visual one, since many people burst out into expressive warbling song. plus you hear music here and there, kids laughing, etc. i loved being amongst all the families and couples on their weekend outings. i climbed to a pavilion to get an aerial of the forbidden city. that was a total mind$*#K.

this is random, but i love it. it’s like, “oh, hey girls! how you doin’?”

what really warmed my heart was the serious ti jian zi (think hacky sack but better and w/o the dreadlocked college kids and shell necklaces). co-ed groups of middle-aged folks wearing biker shorts take this to the next level.

more park activities – ballroom dancing, singing, and water calligraphy:

* explored around the back lakes – a popular area behind the parks with a lot of action. i made a stop at prince gong fu’s mansion. it’s basically what you see on all those chinese period dramas – the traditional courtyard homes…

* frustrated, pissy, and grumpy after walking for what felt like miles and essentially getting kinda lost, i ate some ru rou fan (brewed/braised meat with rice). it was great. food in beijing is astoundingly cheap and abundant.

* what luck! i was on the lookout for nan luo gu xiang, a supposedly lively and somewhat trendy, bohemian hutong (chinese alley). not only did i find it, but it hosted a performance festival on that day, which included the “i-mart fair” – basically a version of APE meets hayes street capsule (but without all the assholes who should bite the curb). lots of hip artists, designers, crafters. think beijing’s creative class. there was an abundance of white young expats and tourists around. that was…interesting.

this here is classic – notice the old guy sitting on the bike. i love it.

* the summer palace. do you think empress dowager cixi, imelda marcos, and mariah carey coulda been BFF? the empress was quite the leisure-crazed hedonist, as evident in this garden designated by UNESCO as a world heritage relic.

san francisco, this one’s for you:

and here, i’m enjoying my new favorite thing (delicious corn ice cream bar) in front of the marble boat – an extravagant folly that was paid for by $$$ intended for the imperial navy. girlfriend had priorities.

wow, i’m tired, sweaty, and flanked by counter-strike and WoW players wearing headsets. most of all, I APOLOGIZE FOR THE UNORGANIZED, LENGTHY FORMAT OF THIS ENTRY.

if you’re reading, thanks! and leave comments…they make me feel warm inside.

i’m about to get a nosebleed now.

blogging here is quite possibly one of the most MADDENING experiences in the world. i just spent an hour trying to fix my last post and apparently, it was all for naught.

no images appear now in my blog, at least on my screen. can you see pix on yours?

it’s a painfully tedious process, as every flickr page takes about an hour to load as i try to grab the URL or html code for each photo to insert into the blog.

arrrrgh. like derek said, the internet here in china is powered by one sole man, leather-faced and cig dangling out of dry mouth, on a bicycle. it’s so slow it feels like each click i make is monitored by someone and won’t proceed until it meets his approval.

quick recap: after killing my feet yesterday wrapping up my walk around the perimeter of the forbidden city (it’s bigger than our feeble american minds can fathom), i ended up at the net cafe and decided impulsively to catch a cab to green t. house – an amusing conceptual restaurant / gallery that’s all about modernism, oversized furniture, candles, minimalism, and some tacky spiral embellishments. i knew all this going in, but was in the mood for some interesting people watching.

who knew then, that i’d like the food so much? the menu was super cheesy, trying to be all lyrical. i ordered soft shell crab (“a soft shell crab story”), green tea wasabi prawns, and this INCREDIBLE rice dish. chinese oily rice with yunnan tea braised mushrooms, nuts, dates, and topped off with this bubbly layer of cheese. it was so tasty.

i woke up this morning at 6am feeling a bit restless and am now in the hostel’s internet bar. at least this one allowed me to download the flickr uploading tool. but i still can’t see any photos on flickr.

this morning from the bathroom window, i saw three white cats going for a leisurely stroll on the tiled roofs of houses. quaint scene.

off for another adventure. peep my flickr for photos.

being in transit for 16+ hours, it felt like i’d never get here. but here i am, in a large and crowded internet cafe listening to cheesy mando-pop (lyrics to one song: “now i’m really crying”).

internet cafes are scarce in beijing, btw. this is the first i’ve seen all day. and not too surprisingly, photos on flickr are blocked/broken, which means i have no idea how this post will look when it’s completed. sorry.

NWA turned out to be a pretty impressive airline. deese entertainment system – a random but satisfying slew of movies, some music channels, even games. i ended up watching “away from her” (so good and poignant), “4: rise of the silver surfer” (what?! i’ll admit, i always had a crush on the silver surfer), and “pirates of the caribbean 3″ (a tangled mess).

this is what i had for dinner on the plane. i made a chocolate sandwich out of the ghirardelli square and bun. not very successful.

here’s the hostel that i’m staying at, called jade international youth hostel (or something like that):

my first full day here was quite something. it was pouring in the morning, so in an endeavor to avoid getting soaked, i waited it out for awhile and thus got a late start. i mosied (sp?) on over to wangfujing, a spectacular touristy shopping thoroughfare, flanked by shops, restaurants, malls, hotels, and so forth. there’s nothing you can’t find here. it’s definitely comforting to know it’s in such proximity to my lodging.

BUT, in the beginning of my amble, i witnessed a scuffle (to put it mildly) that left me pretty shaken and disturbed. it actually got me all in a lather, almost to the point of tears.

here’s the scene – a restaurant on wangfujing. it was obvious that something was a’ brewin’ by the burgeoning number of spectators surrounding the area:

construction workers are on the side prepping some rusty looking barricade made of bars, as people who appear to be the restaurant owner/staff/friends look on in anticipation. then, the construction workers erect the barricade, encroach upon the restaurant entrance, and the standoff begins:

at first it seems somewhat friendly — there are a few laughs among the “participants” — but before i know it the witnessing crowd swells and my view of the scene is obscured. i hear yelling and women screaming, and things get violent. one construction worker brandishes a wrench rather threateningly above the opposing group.

things get super-ugly, and i’m terrified at this point. a senior man, who’s part of the confrontation, falls, and that heightens the drama. there is a physical war going on between restaurant (resisting and pushing away the barricade) and the construction workers (forcing the barricade onto the premises). the men are fiercely hotblooded, in each other’s grills and on the verge of doing some serious damage.

what truly GAVE ME THE SHAKES?

one of the men was dragged away by four others, USING THE FISH HOOK METHOD. he looked pretty resigned through it all. i’m not sure if they were plainsclothes cops or what…but i’d never seen anything like this. frightening.

eventually, it climaxed and the restaurant folks were taken away in handcuffs. the man, whom i’m assuming was the proprietor, was crying and his shirt was torn. others’ faces were bleeding.

all the while, there were plenty of cops around, but they did nothing and barely intervened, save the occasional crowd control by shooing us away. once the action had subsided, the construction workers carried on.

this really scared the shit out of me. i’d never seen anything like it. i wonder if it’s terribly ignorant for me to default to the thought, “business as usual” ?

anyway, here are highlights of the rest of my day. i am incredibly innervated, both physically and emotionally. beijing is intense, and that baby riot knocked me out of my comfort zone and gave me plenty to think about.

wangfujing xiaochi jie, or snack street. plentiful options in tiny restaurants and food stalls. here i am at the entrance; some sort of delicious custardy crisp octopus balls (japanese, i can’t remember the name); scorpions on a stick (they were still squirming):

this is an underground food court, also in wangfujing. overwhelming and fun, so many choices:

on to oriental plaza, a HUGE western-skewed mall that boasts many non-Chinese brands. i saw some enticing chic fashions, but more impressive were the “gourmet street” and “food forum” in the basement. WOW. i could have dinner every night in this mall alone. it had a prima taste restaurant too.

since i was full and lethargic, i rested and recharged at this charming and modern tea restaurant. awesome menu and tea selection. i enjoyed the pu er chrysanthemum tea and matcha pudding (which was damn good), all for like $5. i rather liked this spot. it’d be the perfect spot for a group of friends. relaxing, stylish, lowkey…

and what beijing report wouldn’t be complete without pics of tian’an men? tian’an men was swarming with tourists. groups were demarcated by their color coded hats, which i thought was kind of endearing. you’re accosted left and right by people who want to sell you knockoff 2008 olympics souvenirs, kites, pictures of yourself in the square, umbrellas, maps, etc.

okay, that’s enough for now.

i’m about to get kicked off the computer and this is exhausting. too spartan of an entry.

behold, in all its glory….
24 inches of SOF’ BOY!

it’s fancy, with a hefty $130 pricetag and limited edition status (only 200 pieces total). the last thing i need is another “collectible” or “toy,” especially since i’m so over it (and by “it” i mean boutique vinyl bullshit).

BUT, it’s so purdy, it practically glows! sof’ boy is one of my all-time favorite characters, created by one of my all-time favorite artists/musicians/ubertalented folks – archer prewitt. the charmingly repulsive (and vice versa) comic series details the rambunctious adventures of a happy-go-lucky lovable blob who’s got shit luck, and always manages to elicit maniacal laughing from yours truly. sadly, it’s created at an agonizing slow-as-molasses pace (i believe there are only three or four issues total).

back to the topic of toys, there’s more…12 inch versions of the coctails. can’t say i’m a huge fan of the way these look, but that’s okay. archer designed them, so that’s all that matters.

and because i am a geek of the highest order, i thought i’d take a moment to celebrate my love for sof’ boy, archer, and the sea + cake with this unabashed moment of glee: