good friend/ex-colleague rui is in town right now. she moved to hawaii on christmas, and though we were all thrilled for her, the change has certainly had an impact on my morale here. she’s been deeply missed, so of course a mini-reunion with the gal tonight is hotly anticipated.

but no, girlfriend not only showed up in my “alcove” with her enviable sexy nut-colored tan, fresh hairstyle, and overall healthy glow (b#*%@!), she ALSO BROUGHT me a belated birthday gift: an uber-special hawaiian specialty, chi chi dango mochi from nisshodo. perhaps you may remember when i gushed profusely about these heavenly treats.

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! thanks rui! i love breast milk sweets…

i went to an important retirement potluck party that showcased an almost infinite amount of eats. it was crazy! mind you that these photos reveal only a sliver of the total offerings. i love it when people go all out…

yum. homemade chili verde, rice, and awesome bean dip. you definitely don’t want to separate these three elements. they are fated to be fused together by the binding power of the cheese

the cheesy bean dip, kept melty and gooey in a crock pot. nothing but chili and shredded cheese

didn’t get a chance to try these. i think they were plantains

so many egg rolls

robust potato salad. looks like a midwestern dish, a family recipe

deviled eggs

there was so much food in one room that they had to have a dessert annex next door! it was a well-balanced presentation of homemade treats and store-bought goodies (sweet corn tamales, flan, etc)

wow. i feel like dumbass jeffrey when he won last season’s project runway.

“(we) diiid it”

yes, we most certainly did. we got a rental and drove the hell down to los angeles to see stephen chow. live. in person. he was a mere 10 feet away from me while i snapped thousands of photos of him like the crazy stalker that i am (here i am in action).

CJ7, despite what some may say, was quite enjoyable. i liked it a lot! tony said it was “weak,” but what does he know? he was asleep during most of the screening (bastard). it was better than anticipated, a thoughtful family movie infused with stephen chow’s trademark flavor: rollicking comedy and brilliantly strange insanity. there was a pivotal moment that exercised my lachrymal glands. the entire time during the screening i was squirming with nervousness, thinking, “wow. that’s stephen chow on the big screen. after this he’s going to walk onto that very stage. he’s here. he’s actually HERE!!!” there’s a scene in the movie that perfectly exemplifies stephen chow’s ridiculous charm. it makes my heart soar with adoration. look for it in the beginning of the trailer (which could be much stronger but we all know how american marketing likes to screw up good foreign films). see if you can find it!

it wasn’t just sharing the same air with “grandmaster sing” that was so exciting. like the old saying, “it’s the journey, not the destination.” *chortle*

the deranged, delirious glee i experienced on this 24 hour adventure is personified in my expression here

tony has a thing for clouds. whatever, they’re just like, boring and $hit

haha, the entire trip down and back consisted of my incessant nagging of tony:
“anthony, put your chair back. aren’t you tired? you must be sleepy. take a nap. c’mon, AREN’T YOU TIRED?! PUT YOUR SEAT BACK I SAID!!! sleep…now! don’t you want to put your seat back and get comfy?”

tony wanted to go to the hat, an LA institution famous for its pastrami. so we ended up at the one in simi valley. the first sign of good chili cheese fries? a daunting amount of heaping cheddar. as enticing as this looks, it was a bit disappointing. the chili was bland and lacked any kick

content to do life-shortening damage to our cardiovascular system. but that’s the last of tony’s concerns since he’s built like bruce lee and healthy as jack lalanne

here it is, the notorious pastrami dip. i’ll be honest — it wasn’t that great. disappointingly flavorless, and almost too much meat. adding horseradish to the package certainly helped, as did the side of jus. even i couldn’t finish all of it, a testament to its intimidating size and heart-stopping content

double fisting. it’s how i roll

afterwards tony showed me westlake village, the idyllic town in which he sprouted into a strapping young man. beautiful spacious homes, manicured lawns, and distinguished schools, all surrounded by big, inviting hills. there was even a picturesque creek that traversed a residential part of westlake village. in other words, this was the perfect place to not only raise children, but pedophiles.

afterwards i insisted on popping anthony’s pinkberry cherry. what’s hilarious is that 1) he was stuffed to the gills and had no interest in filling up on more food stuffs and 2) i hesitated to go in because i thought it was a knockoff pinkberry. since it’s such a heavily branded identity, i didn’t think there was any way a pinkberry would allow a renegade sign. i mean, look at that thing! it reeks of strip mall

after driving around and making a very brief visit with tony’s mom and aunties, we made it to harmony gold on time, around sunset and vine. here’s a blurry photo of the long line

and…

…wait for it…

wheeeeeeeeee

i love his salt & pepper. but dang why’d he have to obscure it with that baseball cap?

that little girl, xu jiao, did a stellar job in CJ7 (and played a boy). she was terrific and showed a wide range. i guess stephen chow prides himself on “discovering” many actresses — “chow’s cuties” — who bust out on their own in due time (including cecilia cheung and karen mok), but none this young and adorable. also featured in the film is newcomer zhang yuqi, perhaps another chow cutie

and here he is alluding to his love of dogs, how he used to raise pekingese, and how this breed had a bit of an influence on the design of the alien canine creature in the movie

sigh. because CJ7 was filmed on the mainland, and all of his costars spoke mandarin (it was filmed in ningbo), stephen spoke mandarin too (usually it’s cantonese)

in the lobby with the cheesy americanized poster

as luck would have it, meltdown comics — the socal destination for geeks and nerds — was right across the street. it felt like home, except not really because comic relief is my forever home. i will concede, however, that meltdown was well organized and super clean

what better way to end the night than with a burrito mojado? how it happened: “anthony, are you hungry?” “not really, no” “oh….so, are you like, craving anything to eat?” “no, i’m pretty full” “okay well why don’t we get something to eat?” and of course he totally loved the burrito. it was delish!

can’t you tell by his face how happy he is? no but seriously we loved it

the ride home was nice, since i got to catch up on some ZZZZZs and came to the startling realization that adrianne curry bears an uncanny resemblance to catherine zeta jones

i wish i could wrap up this report with a photo of stephen and myself, beaming and blushing with girly giddiness. but no, they spirited him and xu jiao away immediately after the Q&A. regardless, it was mindblowing seeing him in the flesh. i moved up to the very front row as soon as he took the stage, and the guy next to me was like, “this is so surreal!” indeed

like i said, the real ultimate joy was in the random hysterical laughs that tony and i shared. some great lines spoken by him:

“no you dumb broad, are you stupid?!”

“are your eardrums punctured like a honeycomb?”

“you’re not a slut, you’re a conqueror”

t: “what’s this song? it’s sexy, i like it.”
me: “it’s fergie”
t: “aww #*!@ that ugly b*#!*. what a $hitty song!’

ps – of all the disturbing things i have or could present on this blog, the following takes the cake. it is vile and nauseating, and horribly offensive. here is stephen on some german talk show where the host is a complete chicken blowhard chode. so blatantly racist, his clueless a$$holeness causes the bile to surge in my throat! now that’s someone who should bite the curb. it’s truly incensing to watch, so if you don’t want to get angry, i wouldn’t click play. observe how stephen tries to navigate his way through this astoundingly stupid absurdity

pps – no but really, how can you not love this man? before him, i had no problem expressing my disdain for “slapstick.” but now i’ll take stephen chow slapstick anyday. and stephen chow anything, for that matter

i’m not compulsive about washing my hands because 1) i’m lazy and 2) i’m a big believer in forcing our bodies and immune systems to adapt to germ warfare. my philosophy has always been that the more you cleanse, the more susceptible you render yourself. your physiological defense shields weaken, and you give bacteria opportunities to evolve, outsmarting soaps and waterless gels. plus, germs don’t scare me.

however, recently i’ve learned a few things the slightly hard and really dumb way.

1) don’t rub your eyes excessively (even though it feels like heaven to soothe that fiery itch). furthermore, don’t rub your eyes so vigorously and with such abandon that the act produces strange, grotesque wet, gooshy sounds (derek and anthony, you know what i’m talking about)

2) if i am going to indulge in grinding my eyeball with my fingers, then maybe i should wash them beforehand

3) manage my crappy allergies with more diligence!

since the beginning of february my eyes were especially irritated, itchy, and red. all the eyedrops and rubbing in the world could not placate me. it often felt like somebody had poured sand, or course ground shells, into my eyeballs, particularly the left one. and let’s not talk about the eye snot in the mornings. i chalked all this up to severe allergies, maybe even hayfever.

the weekend before last, i noticed that the skin around my left eye had grown increasingly repulsive in appearance. crusty, dry, fragile, sensitive, like desiccated paper. i figured maybe this was due to the harsh winter weather. so thanks to the advice of a smart fellow, i bought some vitamin E cream to nourish that area back to health. whenever i applied the stuff, it would hurt a bit, but whatever.

then in the mornings i noticed i’d have a difficult time opening my left eye because it was crusted shut. kinda gross but i’ll admit it’s fun picking off all that bodily fluid/mucous membrane sediment.

during our 24 hour escapade to LA, however, i realized that it wasn’t improving. it started stinging, and felt…”gooey.” the outer edge of my eye couldn’t open all the way, as if pus was trying to seal the top and bottom eyelids together. though the outer corner of my eye was flaky and crusty, the skin closer to my eyeball was raw, reddish maroon, wet, and with a disarming sheen. ugly!

in other words, all the signs of an infection. sigh.

by the time i hit the sack on wednesday night after the stephen chow screening, i was miserable and i’ll admit, a tad nervous. and by thursday morning i was in pain. i know, it sounds childish and weak, but it’s amazing how much discomfort a tiny afflicted region of your body can instill. really. it burned and it was kinda weird operating with a gimpy eye that refused to open wide. upon closer inspection i realized the infected area was actually a cut, a split in the skin. this would explain the stinging every time my eye would widen. it was the laceration’s way of screaming “STOP! i can’t heal this way!!!”

after consulting with pals and a doctor friend who recommended i seek medical attention (something i stubbornly refuse to do) because it might be staph, and recalling terrible misfortunes that befell people as a result of insidious strains of staph, i gave in and saw a doctor. luckily, i was booked the same day and was prescribed antibacterial ointment (the stuff of miracles) and more allergy drugs.

anyway, the whole “episode” was annoying and gross. what i find to be even more disturbing at the end of it all is the fact that i can manage to devote so many words to such a trivial, small thing. yet another example of why blogs can be bad. the photos below don’t really do justice to the nastiness.

the following message landed in my inbox this morning, which sealed the deal for me. tomorrow at the buttcrack of dawn, anthony and i will set forth on our little mission impossible. if we live to tell the tale, he shall bore his future grandchildren to tears with it, and i will do the same with you.

ps – i know it’s pathetic to be this thrilled about something. and yes, i know the movie won’t be all that and a bag of chips

////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Thank you for your interest in seeing Stephen Chow’s CJ7! If you are receiving this email, you and your guest are confirmed for our screening on Wednesday night.

Enjoy the show.
GIANT ROBOT

i had a lovely weekend. if only they could all be so pleasant and eventful. of course, having that extra day makes a world of a difference…

friday night, a small reunion with the san hos in san jose. we love the ceviche at alberto’s, a divey little mexican restaurant. later, we went dancing and the DJ rocked my world. i guess it was a good sign when i saw the depeche mode sticker on his laptop. he threw out field mob, taste of honey, and fabolous in one set

the trick is to figure out how to do this on purpose

the next day, after doing time at the DMV, i went to oakland to hang out with eric/einar. i got to see the dark lord’s estate with my very own eyes

he paints figurines and miniatures and sells them. the precision and skill of this fine craft would make the most arthritic elderly chinese grandma embroiderer proud. love this lil’ guy. i took the liberty of naming him LARRY

i dragged eric to cesar — one of my favorite restaurants — on piedmont avenue. it was my first time at this location. he said it was too “yuppie,” which admittedly was the same reason that deterred me from giving it a try when it opened on shattuck when i was in college. i was a dumb fool, talking crap about it when i didn’t have a clue how awesome it is

i tried my first spanish tortilla at cesar. this one was different because it didn’t have potatoes

some of the best frenchy fries in the world, with fried herbs and sea salt

yeah, they’re good, OKAY?!

mushrooms lounging in a luxurious bath of oil. perfect accoutrement for the bread

later that evening, after finally getting home and succumbing to drowsiness, i indulged my irrepressible hankering for ethiopian. the best restaurant to go for this ailment? axum, in the lower haight. excellent!

you know how for most people, they refuse to ingest anything after an ethiopian feast, at least for half a day? well, i’m not like most people because i am a PIG. this is jubili. i will not dismiss it as a pinkberry wannabe, even though its format and offerings are basically the same. i have much respect for this place, and find their original yogurt better tasting than pinkberry’s

also, who needs pinkberry’s neon colors and starck furniture? i appreciate jubili’s design. clean lines, simple textures (see the undulating waves?)

afterwards, i watched paris je’taime, which was ludicrously, shamefully atrocious, except for the vignettes by the coen brothers, gerard depardieu (can’t go wrong with gena rowlands and ben gazzarra), and my favorite, the gem by alexander payne. it was beautiful and deeply moving, and scarily accurate! he totally nails it, and the protagonist is perfect, endearing and real. it spoke volumes to me and basically summed up my feelings while in china.

in the late morning, peg and i griddled up the corned beef hash patties from bryan’s (quality meat market)

peg’s signature steel plates

aww, nothin like eatin breakfast with the sunlight streaming through the blossoming quince

afterwards, i made my way inbound and snapped some shots along the way, practicing with my awesome toy

and then i shot the new blue bottle for eater. yes, i did take pix of the enchanting $20k siphon bar from japan. despite all the hype, i really do think it is a gorgeous space. though the crowd makes it feel like a colors of benetton photo shoot, the cafe is inviting and warm. can’t wait to try the quaint brunch menu

after that, tony and i met up and i dragged him on another mission to satisfy yet another craving – this time, for cheesesteaks at the place on divis. love those hot peps

i recharged my battery when i got home, to prepare for…
more fun and games!

taboo was never this much fun. this game, with the right combo of friends, is the most fertile breeding ground for eternal inside jokes

love the curious look on everyone’s faces

peggy is so fierce. you don’t wanna step to this

and FINALLY, on monday i had the luck of dining at spruce for lunch. i was there on saturday to shoot for the gatekeeper series on eater, and guess i felt inspired to go back for an actual meal. i have to admit, the deafening buzz is well-deserved. the interior is painstakingly thought out, handsome, and spacious, and rarely can you sit through a multi-course meal without at least one disappointment. it’s a bit too poncy for me, but i gotta give it up to a restaurant that can pull this off

a stand-out dish, the golden potato gnocchi with citrus, parmesan, and rapini. buttery and rich, the potato pillows were tempered with a slightly tangy sauce

beet and tangerine salad’s been done a million times, but this is one of the best variations of it that i’ve ever had

i’m not even a fan of polenta but i was compelled to order this, with short rib (YUM) sugo and some sort of braised cabbage

a wonderful weekend, from start to finish. i am grateful to experience these simple pleasures, and to be able to document them too. the R+R was good, and much needed for the upcoming weekend, which will entail some work on both days at the chinatown community street fair. it’s a lovely event and doesn’t warrant any bratty whining on my part, but the rainy weather always makes for a miserable time, especially when your tent comes with less-than-reliable flimsy tarpaulin.

ps – why are the photos skewed?

*addendum: when i’m under a lot of stress i watch this thing to crack a smile.

prepare to have your mind blown by hip hop grannies. my heart kinda stopped when i saw this. it’s flocke-level cuteness in human form.

i just found out that next week stephen chow is going to be live in the flesh at a free screening of his latest, CJ7, in los angeles!!! i’m spasming so hard right now with excitement i think my heart might give out.

i would never entertain the idea of 1) skipping work and 2) embarking on a fly-by-night drive to los angeles, only to turn around a few hours later, for a flippin’ celebrity. i rarely even go to shows these days because i’ve become such a jaded, snobby a$$hole; musicians need to earn my devotion and hence my willingness to disrupt a comfortable grandma lifestyle (no craziness on school nights, y’all). but stephen chow is not just a celebrity. he is magic. and i love him.

so far i’ve roped anthony into my suicide mission to attend this screening (but really he’ll look for any excuse to drive). anyone else? i plan on being back at work the next morning.
the movie screens at 7:30 pm, next wednesday, 2/20, at harmony gold on sunset in hollywood.
what an adventure!

(how much do you love his cardigan with the eyes?)

ps – china blog barking at the sun writes about CJ7 re: its portrayal of migrant workers (stephen chow’s character and his son are squatters living in impoverished conditions):
“Could this be that rare popular movie that transcends its normal limits and become serious social commentary?”

seeing this kind of thing in the kitchenette makes me yell “JACKPOT!”
i don’t know about you but i’m addicted to hershey kisses. the way they melt in your mouth…

my coworker karen got me the raddest valentine – a box of wheat thins and the classic necco hearts! how sweet is that? i guess once when i was in her office i couldn’t shaddup about my love for wheat thins. even better is that i had the perfect cheese to go along with them, fromage d’affinois.

i wanted to post a photo of karen and me but i have to ask for her permission. you know, that whole respecting one’s privacy thing.

instead here is something that i think is most appropriate for a valentine’s day entry.

my talented cousins have crafted an eloquent video message regarding valentine’s day. so folks, if you’re in a bind about what to do for your shawty / boo on this very special day, then pay close attention to these wise fellas.

the production is part of their new, fun venture called inconceivable tv. they make me proud!

ps – guess what my favorite parts are