plantar fasciitis. it’s a pretty word, fun to say. fascia is a cool physiological element, the good stuff that ties it all together…until one of your fascia begins to deterioriate, tears away from the heel bone, and catalyzes painful red hot inflammation. so this is what i have to say to plantar fasciitis, the extremely common, classic ailment that will befall many of us at least once in our lifetime:

(he’s flippin’ the bird. see?)

(“i may be living in a brand spankin’ new world class groundbreaking scientific facility but i will NEVER bow down to the machine! i AM the pretty hate machine, bitches!!!”)

as i write this, i’ve popped 400 mg of ibuprofen and my left heel/arch is propped atop a frozen plastic bottle of dr. pepper on the floor. the three tenets of healing plantar fasciitis are: ice, ibuprofen, and arch support. oh, and an exercise that stretches out the achilles. quite simple on my good leg, and awkward and irritating on my bad leg.

i hate whining, truly i do, but this thing has been a sonuvabitch!

first of all, i really hate hobbling like elephant man / smeagol hunting for fish. gimpiness is lame. literally.

second of all, yeah, it hoits like a mutha. last night was the worst, the kind of throbbing pain that makes you want to punch yourself (does that make sense?). taking a shower was challenging. couldn’t soap up the good foot, could barely get out of the bathtub without it being scene. who wants to sponge bathe me?

third, my plantar facia has a REALLY $HITTY SENSE OF TIMING. next tuesday morning, i embark on a scary, anxiety-ridden adventure: HK for work (i’ll be at the hk international arts & antiques fair…it’s pure luck, won’t happen ever again), and then directly to taipei for a travel tour with *gulp* my mom, stepdad, and sister (whew) for like 10 straight days. i’m thrilled, but it’ll certainly be a test of my patience and character. as we all know, traveling = immense concrete pounding. and being staffed at a booth at an international art fair means standing (and smiling) a lot, which i’m not supposed to do.

and y’all know how much i love walking, especially on travel.

so i’m gonna cross my fingers (HARD) and hope that this pup heals itself before i am in schlepping-tons-of-luggage-while-getting-to-my-gate-at-the-airport mode, which is actually the kind of thing that strains your plantar fascia. if it still persists when i land in the “orient,” well, then…i’m F#*@ed. can you imagine being in hong kong and taiwan and not being able to enjoy it? those places were meant for exploration. maybe this is what elderly senior citizens experience when they’re abroad. oh, i didn’t just say that.

how do you avoid being pathetic like me? ARCH SUPPORT, people, and lots of it. not to mention avoiding standing for extended periods of time, especially while carrying heavy things. i dropped $30 at kaiser for some superfeet (yes that’s the brand) insoles cuz i was that scurrred and ready to support dem arches. flats (what we all intuitively thought were god’s gift to women’s sartorial shoe problems) are terrible for your tootsies, so go get some FIRM insoles. none of that gel stuff. flip flops are malicious too, unless they come with support.

now i am hellbent on a serious mission: find TWO good pairs of shoes for my trip. i need sexy stylish ones for HK with a mini heel (good for your feet) because i already have an inferiority complex and these patrons are gonna be the chic, beautiful kind. i must feel professional and confident (but jenn, doesn’t confidence come from within?). i also need something to let my feet breathe in muggy, humic taiwan. birkenstocks make some sassy good looking products. so i’ll need to find some of those. and while we’re at it, how about some quality engineered sneakers? not as important i guess, since i just slide the insoles into my sauconys (thick soles) and they feel nice.

welp, if anyone has any tips on where to find ergonomic orthotic shoes (oh dear), lemme know. i’ve occasionally walked into a walking company store but immediately turned around cuz let’s face it, am i gonna wear trollish merrills or mephistos anytime soon? i might as well buy a walking stick. never! but still, i’ll try to put my superficial vanity aside for the sake of health. there’s gotta be a happy medium, right?

sure i’m being a baby, but really, i hope to look back on this one day and be reminded to keep it real with my plantar fasciiti and treat them right with supportive TLC. i’ve learned not to take for granted even the simple joys of being normally bipedal. i almost can’t remember what it’s like to walk without struggling like igor. this $hit is no joke!

This entry was posted on Friday, September 26th, 2008 at 10:43 am and is filed under random, travel. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.