april 5 marks a chinese holiday — qing ming jie — the clear and bright festival. aka tomb sweeping festival, all souls day, festival for tending graves, grave sweeping day, chinese memorial day, tomb sweeping day, spring remembrance.

my mom adheres to this age-old tradition, so we’ll be going to skylawn cemetary tomorrow. ever since my popo (grandma) died in 1997, it’s been a custom we’ve observed. with my gong gong’s (grandpa’s) somewhat surprising death a few years ago, ma’s tenacity to stick to the ritual picked up ten-fold. she and my sis can tell you how difficult it is to get me to participate. it’s like pulling teeth, or dragging a pet into the vet’s office. even though i respect the idea behind qing ming jie and it appeals to my gloomy sensibilities, it’s depressing as hell!

first, christina does a bang up job on cleaning the gravestones. she uses elbow grease and car cleaning agents to get them nice and glossy. garden shears are used to trim the grass encroaching upon the stones. i wish i was a trooper like her

lookin good

ma treats her parents to their favorite meals, canned drinks, and snacks. she usually picks up these vittles from ranch 99 on our way to the cemetary, which is nestled on a hill between san mateo and half moon bay

with incense in hand, ma recites a medley of buddhist prayers and personal, heartfelt salutations. she asks grandma and grandpa to watch over the family and friends, to ensure we do well in life, thrive on good health, and of course, find good husbands. basically she reminds them to have our backs

of course, the deceased need to live it up too! so we burn joss paper — “ghost money” — for them to party it up in what my ma endearingly calls “happy land.” it’s like wiring $crilla to them but in a parallel universe, supernatural sort of way. it’s not just money; there’re paper/cardboard articles of clothing, houses, cell phones, credit cards, and almost anything else you can think of. i once saw a joss specialty store in chinatown, and was stunned by the massive selection!

this is a cool and clever concept, to take care of them by sending them materialistic goods so they can enjoy their afterlives. but it’s also the most heartbreaking and salient reminder of the fact that our loved ones are gone. i think i can partly attribute my nebulous belief in “spirits” to this

awww yeah. flossin’ with “hell bank notes”

we can’t help but monkey around. we don’t think grandpa would mind

it’s a nice view from atop skylawn cemetary, and it’s close to the ocean. i have to say, my mom did a good job finding a resting place for her parents

now that i’m older (though certainly not mature), i have learned the importance of taking this stuff more seriously. i’m making an earnest effort to tone down the stubborn “why do i hafta?!” behavior when mom says it’s time to go visit the grandparents. i often wonder if i can maintain the tradition and do the same for my mom as she has for her parents. my selfishness renders me incapable of conveying this kind of devotion and love. regardless, it’s something i’ll have to do. and if i ever get lazy about it, christina will surely get my butt into gear.

**ps – according to wiki, this year is the FIRST TIME the people’s republic of china can celebrate qing ming jie! it wasn’t allowed before because the chinese communist party had classified it as a superstition.