okay, SO WHAT IS THE DEAL?

it’s no seldom occurrence that we all see an accessory / item of clothing that we covet but can’t actually possess. usually we “suffer” this because of paltry funds (or whatevs), but it stings even more when what i want is designed for the opposite sex or for beings in a far distant age range – specifically, that which belongs to little tykes.

in other words, i’m witnessing a lot of age-ism in “fashion” lately.

EXHIBIT A
:

an awesome pair of dino rain boots belonging to a tot. as soon as i laid my eyes on these, i knew with conviction that they were meant for me. so how come 1) i’ve never seen them before and 2) even if i could buy them, they’d only fit my big toe ?!
in general, i’ve seen plenty of adorable rain boots made only for kids, like the classic delightful frog ones.

while the children are traipsing out and about with little frog eyeballs sticking out of their boots, us “ladies” are relegated to the same ol’ atrocious, saccharine options such as these (zzzzz):

at the very least, i can always fall back on the classic, rugged (but sexy) wellies. whew.

EXHIBIT B
:

a fantastically awesome hoodie with a sassy and stylish print featuring some wicked fauna: scorpions, lizards, and one of my faves: bats! bonus – it looks like dinosaurs from afar. is there any reason why old navy couldn’t make this for a 26 y.o. woman? (granted, a 26-year-old- woman with a stunted childlike mentality) i don’t want some fleece zip-up $hit with old navy insignias plastered all over the sleeves. i want one with nicely rendered bats on it.

EXHIBIT C
:

the tried-and-true lion costume for halloween, except this one is sweet. i wouldn’t just wear this to halloween festivities. hell, i’d wear the jacket to your parents’ house, to the bodega, to the park while walking the dog, cuz it looks warm, snuggly, inviting. check out the paws and inventive use of felt for the mane! peggy tried it on and i wanted to pounce on her right there and then, it was so meltingly cute. old navy saves only the good stuff for kids and dogs. thanks a lot, old navy. THANKS. guess i’ll trudge on over to the “spirit” halloween store to peruse what’s available for my age bracket…lots of costumes that are pathetically imbued with banal sexual innuendo. booorrrring.

oh yeah, and over the weekend we went to the venerable berkeley institution vik’s chaat house. the last time i was there, i was still a wee college student. i almost cried tears of joy and paroxysmal pleasure when i took my first bite.

behold, in all its glory….
24 inches of SOF’ BOY!

it’s fancy, with a hefty $130 pricetag and limited edition status (only 200 pieces total). the last thing i need is another “collectible” or “toy,” especially since i’m so over it (and by “it” i mean boutique vinyl bullshit).

BUT, it’s so purdy, it practically glows! sof’ boy is one of my all-time favorite characters, created by one of my all-time favorite artists/musicians/ubertalented folks – archer prewitt. the charmingly repulsive (and vice versa) comic series details the rambunctious adventures of a happy-go-lucky lovable blob who’s got shit luck, and always manages to elicit maniacal laughing from yours truly. sadly, it’s created at an agonizing slow-as-molasses pace (i believe there are only three or four issues total).

back to the topic of toys, there’s more…12 inch versions of the coctails. can’t say i’m a huge fan of the way these look, but that’s okay. archer designed them, so that’s all that matters.

and because i am a geek of the highest order, i thought i’d take a moment to celebrate my love for sof’ boy, archer, and the sea + cake with this unabashed moment of glee: