peggy introduced this brilliant masterpiece to me. it is absolutely mandatory that you listen to this. this is some hilarious r. kelly ridiculousness. some very rewarding, funny four minutes.

thanks peg! real talk.

Facebook to me
11:52 PM (9 hours ago)

Anne sent you a message.
——————–
Subject: Add as a friend

Hi, Dear daughter:

Please add mom as a friend.
Thank you.
Love always and forever.

Mom (11/10/2008)
——————–

snippets from a phone conversation tonight with the ol’ man.
context: he finally saw the father’s day blog entry i wrote.

me: “so dad did you like the “article” i wrote about you?”

him: “yes, i like a lot. that’s my story! i’m a star!”

me: “no dad, it’s not really a story about you or anything. it’s just a bunch of funny things you said.”

him: “that’s MY STORY. everybody in this house read it. they all like it. one person said that i look better as i get older.”

me: “okay. did you remember all those things you said?”

him: “i remember everything i say…do you like the iphone?”

me: “…um, yeah, i do actually. why?”

him: “i saw it yesterday…i fall in love with it.”

me: “dad you don’t even know how to use a computer.”

him: “yes but if i’m outside and bored i can just type in ‘chinese’ and watch tv and movie on it!”

all while i was cooking a specifically chinese childhood dish of yellow chives sauteed with egg tofu and a real egg thrown in for good measure. was that like, a total joy luck club meets Y generation / 20-something bachelorette moment or what?

anthony shared this cute 20 second youtube clip with me (first one). the second clip is hellboy being charming. apparently it’s a possibility that ron perlman’s makeup is so cumbersome that they dub his voice in after filming? anyway, i’m posting to celebrate what landed in my inbox the other day. proof that if you enter a million contests and giveaways in your life, you’re bound to get something.

“Congratulations! You won a pass (good for two people) to the advanced screening of Hellboy II, The Golden Army which screens next Tuesday, July 8, 7:30PM at AMC Metreon”

james lipton is pretty delightful

haha, “i don’t even think they have pockets”

the passion-soaked battle storms on between two men i love!

ps – the fact that bi/rain is such a good, playful sport makes him all the more lovable

you all know the backstory (they weren’t terribly creative with the lyrics):

my talented cousins have crafted an eloquent video message regarding valentine’s day. so folks, if you’re in a bind about what to do for your shawty / boo on this very special day, then pay close attention to these wise fellas.

the production is part of their new, fun venture called inconceivable tv. they make me proud!

ps – guess what my favorite parts are

“my spittle is swarming with eggs”

you’re finally legal now.

beat takeshi is a favorite actor/director/persona of mine. what’s not to love about this guy? he’s got the charles bukowski thing going on – gruff, pockmarked, and weathered but with a heart of gold, probably a real softie.

i saw blood & bones last night, a tour de force of absolute hopelessness, despair, and violence that’ll knock you on your ass. it’s a three-hour long intense reminder of how wretched life can be. sheer and utter grimsville (x infinity + one). it was long, almost too long, but worth watching. beautiful camera work and film stock. pretty muted colors.

anyway, here’s a good recap by martin / giant robot.

basically, in this film, beat takeshi’s character is pure evil – badass, ruthless, uncontrollable, and amoral. i think the title really nails it because it captures the gory, cruel, animalistic violence, but also addresses the excruciating shittiness of family dysfunction (to put it mildly)…how one singular man can devastate and ruin every person in his world for generations to come…and how exponentially fucked up it is when the perpetrator happens to be your father.

also, if you want to witness real, raw rage – paroxysms that possess men to growl like rabid animals rearin’ to tear each other’s jugulars apart – then this flick is for you. and we’re talkin’ korean and japanese wrath here, folks.

my blood & bones viewing companion had eaten beat takeshi’s weight in twizzlers prior to our screening, so i thought i’d throw that shout out into my mini-collage.

in the collage’s movie still, our main man is delivering yet another beatdown to a mistress who is physically unable to be his baby mama. so what does he do in a fit of anger? shoves rotting meat (sprinkled with maggots) into her mouth so she can gain “strength” and fertility. yes, he keeps a bucket of putrid offal matter around for consumption.

one more thing: he commands practically every woman who crosses his path to “STRIP!”

ps – another good name for this film could’ve been WHERE DO THESE WOMEN GET THE WILL TO LIVE?!