plantar fasciitis. it’s a pretty word, fun to say. fascia is a cool physiological element, the good stuff that ties it all together…until one of your fascia begins to deterioriate, tears away from the heel bone, and catalyzes painful red hot inflammation. so this is what i have to say to plantar fasciitis, the extremely common, classic ailment that will befall many of us at least once in our lifetime:

(he’s flippin’ the bird. see?)

(“i may be living in a brand spankin’ new world class groundbreaking scientific facility but i will NEVER bow down to the machine! i AM the pretty hate machine, bitches!!!”)

as i write this, i’ve popped 400 mg of ibuprofen and my left heel/arch is propped atop a frozen plastic bottle of dr. pepper on the floor. the three tenets of healing plantar fasciitis are: ice, ibuprofen, and arch support. oh, and an exercise that stretches out the achilles. quite simple on my good leg, and awkward and irritating on my bad leg.

i hate whining, truly i do, but this thing has been a sonuvabitch!

first of all, i really hate hobbling like elephant man / smeagol hunting for fish. gimpiness is lame. literally.

second of all, yeah, it hoits like a mutha. last night was the worst, the kind of throbbing pain that makes you want to punch yourself (does that make sense?). taking a shower was challenging. couldn’t soap up the good foot, could barely get out of the bathtub without it being scene. who wants to sponge bathe me?

third, my plantar facia has a REALLY $HITTY SENSE OF TIMING. next tuesday morning, i embark on a scary, anxiety-ridden adventure: HK for work (i’ll be at the hk international arts & antiques fair…it’s pure luck, won’t happen ever again), and then directly to taipei for a travel tour with *gulp* my mom, stepdad, and sister (whew) for like 10 straight days. i’m thrilled, but it’ll certainly be a test of my patience and character. as we all know, traveling = immense concrete pounding. and being staffed at a booth at an international art fair means standing (and smiling) a lot, which i’m not supposed to do.

and y’all know how much i love walking, especially on travel.

so i’m gonna cross my fingers (HARD) and hope that this pup heals itself before i am in schlepping-tons-of-luggage-while-getting-to-my-gate-at-the-airport mode, which is actually the kind of thing that strains your plantar fascia. if it still persists when i land in the “orient,” well, then…i’m F#*@ed. can you imagine being in hong kong and taiwan and not being able to enjoy it? those places were meant for exploration. maybe this is what elderly senior citizens experience when they’re abroad. oh, i didn’t just say that.

how do you avoid being pathetic like me? ARCH SUPPORT, people, and lots of it. not to mention avoiding standing for extended periods of time, especially while carrying heavy things. i dropped $30 at kaiser for some superfeet (yes that’s the brand) insoles cuz i was that scurrred and ready to support dem arches. flats (what we all intuitively thought were god’s gift to women’s sartorial shoe problems) are terrible for your tootsies, so go get some FIRM insoles. none of that gel stuff. flip flops are malicious too, unless they come with support.

now i am hellbent on a serious mission: find TWO good pairs of shoes for my trip. i need sexy stylish ones for HK with a mini heel (good for your feet) because i already have an inferiority complex and these patrons are gonna be the chic, beautiful kind. i must feel professional and confident (but jenn, doesn’t confidence come from within?). i also need something to let my feet breathe in muggy, humic taiwan. birkenstocks make some sassy good looking products. so i’ll need to find some of those. and while we’re at it, how about some quality engineered sneakers? not as important i guess, since i just slide the insoles into my sauconys (thick soles) and they feel nice.

welp, if anyone has any tips on where to find ergonomic orthotic shoes (oh dear), lemme know. i’ve occasionally walked into a walking company store but immediately turned around cuz let’s face it, am i gonna wear trollish merrills or mephistos anytime soon? i might as well buy a walking stick. never! but still, i’ll try to put my superficial vanity aside for the sake of health. there’s gotta be a happy medium, right?

sure i’m being a baby, but really, i hope to look back on this one day and be reminded to keep it real with my plantar fasciiti and treat them right with supportive TLC. i’ve learned not to take for granted even the simple joys of being normally bipedal. i almost can’t remember what it’s like to walk without struggling like igor. this $hit is no joke!

man i’ve spent a big chunk of the day working on MATCHA, and now it’s time for a five minute breather wherein i babble incoherently about random nothings.

jeff’s collection brought back so many memories. we all had that lion-o figure, with the swinging arm action. when i was a kid i had a crush on tigra. he was so handsome. derek had one on cheetara. you wouldn’t believe the drrrty ideas we’ve exchanged about her over a mediocre cheese steak. eric c. reminds me of panthro. i love it when todd does his schhhhhnaaaarf impression. i always liked how they outlined the muzzles of their faces.

okay back to work.

thanks everyone for continuing to leave comments on my lame rigormortis blog entries. they make me feel better.

things have been wildly busy. a million things have happened, all good, some so so. just living life, mang.

i’m HELLA overwhelmed with juggling kettlebells at work. reliable mantras to keep me sane: “stay calm and carry on. also: “try your best, leave the rest.” there’s also the “rock in the river” guiding principle.

this website is infected with invisible, insidious spam. just google thebittermelon.org and you’ll see what i’m talking about. that’s something that’ll have to be addressed.

my sister’s birthday is coming up. she’s a san jose family shelter worker now, which is awesome.

i saw tropic thunder with my dad. can’t say it’s the most comfortable thing having to sit together through at least 50 loud and clear usages of the word “pu$$y.” not to mention explicit descriptions of what pleasurable acts one can perform on another’s genitalia, as well as a rap song whose chorus and refrain is “i love the pu$$y.”

my dad just called me and said, “i saw a really funny movie. way better than that ‘tropical storm’ one. pineapple express. very good.” yeah.

he also told me over the weekend that women cannot be complete without children. after my protests of this being a clearly sexist statement, he calmly warned me: “dan dan, listen to me carefully. everything daddy say will be right one day.”

i’m off to channel a lot of anger and anxiety through kickboxing now.

peg and i had a good laugh over what would be a really funny (but weak) retort to any nasty insults hurled our way. observe:

meanie: “you are such a _________”
response: “yeah?!…well….i’m not….”

meanie: “you are so _______”
response: “yeah?!!!….well…i’m NOT…”

pretty good, right? i know, you’re floored by the geniusness.

it dawned on me that i shouldn’t be afraid to commit to non-photographic entries. sometimes i should just let the stream of consciousness rip n roar. for instance, lately i’ve had to get up and pee in the middle of the night. sometimes twice. and that’s obnoxious! it makes for fitful sleep.

after a long period of unproductive waffling, i finally got a bike. the opportunity to buy a used one — old, but a great reputable brand, and fun to ride — fell into my lap just at the nick of time. on several occasions i almost compulsively bought one cuz i couldn’t stand not being able to experience the joyous sensation of riding. not to mention the efficiency it introduces to one’s daily routine! what i’m not savoring is the agony it brings upon my poor crotch and battered cheeks. it’s super discouraging when you’re going up a barely-there incline and all you want to do is die. i hope my shoddy fitness and clumsiness doesn’t get the best of me.

also, the hiatus was stifling, but somehow i managed to get back into the gym, and have been going consistently for almost a month, if not more. albeit, it’s not as often during the week as i’d prefer, but i’m trying and making it a big priority. at this point, i feel like i’m conducting an experiment on my body to see what it takes to reap changes. determined to see something, anything, because i hate the current painful package i come in.

we’re going down south for con this weekend. crazy fun times will ensue, what with the winning social make up comprising peg, anthony, derek, fran, hellen, calvin, ryry, evan, so forth. it’ll be only my third time as a pure spectator, since previous years i worked for the comic relief mega booth. so strange, seeing the same folks over and over again, witnessing how they’ve evolved, some over a course of a decade.

my first ever comic convention was APE, when it was in san jose, and i was an angsty 16 or 17 year old. that was when i first met _____, a stylish, handsome, talented, and kind chap who sold me some of his work (which was partly pivotal for starting my “indie” comic obsession) and did a charming sketch in my book. well of course i developed a tiny crush on him, which would lie dormant and surface when i’d see him at subsequent conventions. the crush, harmless in itself, probably germinated because he seemed like such an ideal during an idealistic period of my life, when all i wanted to do was what he was doing, making good comics/art. anyway, he’d always offer a casual “oh hey! what’s up” acknowledgment during later run ins, partly as a show of gratitude for my support, and that would be the extent of our friendly but perfunctory exchange. over the years we’ve aged, and i’ve seen from afar how he’s aged (more salt, less pepper; more jowliness); life progressed. he married, had a child, and god knows how old the kid is now. his art’s always improving, onwards and upwards.

i don’t know why i’m talking about this, other than the fact that it’s interesting how strangers have the ability to make even the slightest impact and symbolize meaningful things in your life. it’s been a long time since i’ve seen this guy, and to be honest, i could care less. but it’s funny how his name alone will conjure up all these bittersweet memories of the girl i was. suddenly i can distinctly remember that first APE: all the nice soulful people, my first encounter with giant robot (jenny shimizu cover), dan wu of oriental whatever (coolest eye-opening thing ever at the time), gene yang (during his xeric days). i can even tell you what i was wearing. it was an entirely new, exciting world that filled me with a fiery passion that’s only native to teen territory.

as nostalgic and sentimental as this particular trip down memory lane is, it’s weighed down with a sorrowful sense of regret and disappointment. how i never created something like i promised myself i would, how i fantasized about one day being behind the table as a producer and not a patron. sucks, but hey that’s life: confronting and coping with the reality that 1) rarely will things turn out the way you want and 2) rarely will you be the person you sought out to be. but how can you retool this ostensibly difficult reality into a positive, healthy thing?

so yeah, that was a long time ago. i think it’d be quite magical to dig through the old sketchbook that i dorkily took to my early cons, in which i’d collect artistic contributions of all the talent i admired. what’d i give to flip through it again.

i’m going to shut up now.

grabbed lunch today with jimmy knuckles at turtle tower. to our immediate left was a quaint family comprising mom and three little kiddies. i’m surmising they were all sisters. anyway, i couldn’t help but overhear bits and pieces of the conversation. imagine what this little girl’s voice sounds like (sweet, tiny, precocious, confident), saying these exact things.

“…you don’t deserve my love, i’m too good for you…”

“…well it’s just like an IP address right?…”

“…mom, what’s the biggest mistake you ever made in your life?…”

i have no idea what the contexts were but my jaw dropped at these three soundbites. so cute and charming. kids. they say the darndest things.

ps – i’m not a kinder stalker but every once in awhile you run into some magical ones

man i’ve definitely fallen off the blog-three-times-a-week wagon (unlike some people who’ve been on a blogging binge).

there’s so much to blather on about. june has flown by filled to the brim with birthday celebrations. i plan on doing an entry dedicated to all the lovely birthday folks of june. it’ll be a smorgasbord.

i feel like being random right now. that said, can you figure out what this is? is it black blow? sand? gritty gravel?

i use it to make this

it’s black sesame powder, pure and unadulterated. i bought it at yogi house in fremont, right next to the salon i go to. it’s this quaint chinese shop specializing in all things healthy, organic, natural, herbal, etc. it’s a bit of an anomaly, cuz well, it’s not very “chinese” in my mind. the great thing is that my mom had a field day there, asking the owner questions about this and that about all the products (“what is this good for?” “flax seeds? what does that do?” “lignans? what’s that?”). oh, and they sell japanese black charcoal (supposedly a natural water filter).

anyway, i bought a tub of black sesame powder. i’m a skeptic about healthy miracle ingredients, but supposedly it’s loaded with calcium and goodness. at work i mix it with hot soy milk and splenda to tide me over. tasty and earthy, it’s like a healthy oreo shake, or at least it looks like it.

the only drawback is that it makes my mouth look like i’ve been making out with black dirt. so whenever anyone comes into my area i have to cover my mouth while i talk to him/her.

onto more randomness, check this out:

hardcore! spotted on hayes. i wasn’t sure what to think, just cuz the car itself is one of my faves (late 80s bmw 318i) and if i had one i certainly wouldn’t turn it into the herge mobile. still, i applaud the tintin dedication.

saw scrabbel at the rickshaw on wednesday night. pretty awesome. they’re a solid band, terrific live, and it brings me great pleasure to see hellen shredding on the cello. it’s pretty sweet. also got to hang with the gang, which is always a good thing. everyone was so fun and bubbly save me. i’m a perpetually tired sack of old bones. sorry.

on the work front, our big summer show opens today. we’ve been hosting a group of delegates from china, and it’s been fun to observe from the sidelines. i walked through the exhibition a couple times, and i have to say it is spectactular. i’m proud to be part of it. the objects are stunning, and there’s so much history. for example, we have one of the world’s oldest gun powder utilizing barreled weapons. pretty nuts. when i am in the galleries, i often try to visualize what it was like back then during the ming dynasty. it plays like a movie in my mind. the eunuchs, the mandate to rule from heaven, the ladies of the court, the power, etc…all that drama.

here’s our signature marketing piece. you know what i love? it looks like he’s wearing chucks with black laces! so emo.

so yeah, i’m not just saying this to shill for the museum, but this is truly a historical exhibition. i imagine history buffs in particular would love it.

oh, and i tried indoor climbing last night for the first time at mission cliffs. it’s something i’ve been curious about for years, and was finally able to check it off my to-do list thanks to steve (who is a patient, good instructor). i was quite nervous and found the whole thing daunting. you walk in and it’s like, bam! hello climbing culture, stimulation overload. plus, there was a belaying test!!! talk about sweating bullets. but i miraculously passed it and got to climb. my first try was frightening and i didn’t get very far, but by my last try i had managed to get to the top and was hooked. of course, the walls i mounted were probably meant for little kids, but still, it was an addictive sensation. can’t wait to go back.

and lastly, here’s something i probably shouldn’t post for many reasons. yes, i know he wasn’t the best PM, yes, i know about the yasukuni controversy, and yes a million things, but i’m such a piggish carnal slimeball that i can’t help but lose all reasoning and ladylike behavior when i see a handsome specimen. there, i’m inhuman. can’t help it. you can blame ryan, it’s his beautiful poster.

ps – i think martin was desperate to fill their top five page in the latest ish of GR, because i can’t think of any other reason why i’d end up in it (i’m not complaining, i think it’s really neat). it features a terrible thumbnail of my sad mug, but in it i say that one of my top five is to have a drink with candy, the coolest bar maiden you’ll ever meet (at the bow bow cocktail lounge, chinatown). she’s taiwanese and a saucy spirit. will someone please do a documentary on her already?